More about pre trip jitters

Posted By: Kimberly

I think every traveller who has ever done his or her own trip gets these. No matter how much you've prepared or how long you've dreamed, when it comes down to the last few days (7, from today), unless a planner is supremely egotistical or doesn't care where the money goes, the doubts will raise their ugly head and whack your nerves a good one.

Total budget, 5k. 3 months in one of the costliest places in the world to take a holiday. Also one of the most culturally intriguing countries in the world, with a spread of gorgeous delights that tantalise anyone with any basic interest in life.

A trip that, when mentioned, has gotten 99% of the people hearing about it to say "No way", "Impossible", "Can't be done".

Mind you, the 99% feel so strongly about it that of the 4 people who actually believe it might be possible, 3 are going on the trip and can't actually afford to feel otherwise, and the last was supposed to go but had other commitments. Basically, everybody else thinks we're mad. It's a cool idea, but mad.

I feel like I'm some kind of extraordinary cutting edge scientist, rather than a person who just wants to travel cheap. Of course, with my innate stubbornness resilience, I simply said, "We'll see about that." The three of us who're going, simply accept that even if our budget dies on us, humans are designed such that we can't just make up our mind to lie down and die, so we'll still make it through somehow.

The team was selected by yours truly. I believe in their resourcefulness, and trust them to see it through. As a team of just three, each with our own specialisations, I appreciate every person's unique abilities and intelligence. We're not really crazy. We're in fact learning, testing our limits at every step to see what we are capable of, when it comes down to it.

Still, today I find myself doubting if we really can. The visa troubles are barely ended, and already we are planning how to stay in no man's land one night at the airport, to make it past the 90 day visa restriction. I will point out at this stage that being Singaporean is tremendously beneficial - I have no need to do such a thing. Yet I would, for my trip mates are not of the same nationality as I, and at least one will suffer severe bias on this trip - something I've been led to believe from the difficulty I've had in finding ANYONE to help him out with the visa requirements. Disappointing, that.

Of my trip mates, one keeps wondering aloud if the whole thing was just a bad idea (and I tell him, not really, but it shakes me inside... I don't think I can hold it up alone...) and the other is in a meditational state of preparation - quite in his own zone (though I have faith, because he's survived his own trips so far).

It's going to be some crazy stuff, the next three months. And the only sponsorship we're getting so far is an experimental t-shirt for 2 of us (more on that in a future post). Donations to defray costs of trip and expand the budget are, by the way, very welcome... even if it's 10cts. >.<

Dying has always been easy. It's living that's hard. But I'd rather live it up and be there, wherever I want to be, than hole up and resign myself to boredom, ennui and Facebook.

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